Today I Almost Ate A Cinnabon

While in the mall today I had the desire to eat something in addition to the small meal I had just consumed. I was in a poor quality mood at the moment for a number of reasons and I feel comfortable saying that being in a mall only compounds the stress from the laundry list of things to stress about regarding the holidays. As I wandered around the food court I eventually decided that I would take the plunge and get a Cinnabon.

You're probably wondering why this warrants a post (especially considering I posted yesterday, two in one week is unheard of). Well I haven't had a Cinnabon in probably about 6 years or so, maybe more. In high school a group of us would sometimes hit up the Cinnabon in Paramus Park after school or during our double lunch and of course immediately regret it. The instant remorse that comes from eating a Cinnabon is half the fun. Shortly after graduating high school I realized how gross Cinnabons truly are and how they are not nearly worth the effort/grossness that comes along with consuming them.

It's been a long time since I've had a Cinnabon. So long that I forgot that the Cinnabon in Paramus Park no longer exists. So I ended up not having a Cinnabon not by my own volition, but due to it not being at option.

All of this is significant because as soon as I realized that I would not be eating a Cinnabon today but I had talked myself into one it dawned on me that you have to be in a pretty bad place to decide to eat a Cinnabon. Surely someone who is feeling good about themselves has no interest in bringing even one bite of a Cinnabon anywhere near their body. I couldn't stop thinking about this as I debated whether or not I wanted to get something else instead. "I must be in a real shitty mood if I was going to eat one of those," I thought to myself. Why else would someone subject themselves to that unless they were really really stoned?

Jim Gaffigan has a great routine about Cinnabons where he mentions how the company must be owned by Satan. I agree with this 100%.